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Tuesday, 17 June 2008
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“I’ll stand. With arms high and heart abandoned”
….my heart is abandon, Jesus. Have Your wayIt’s been an incredibly hard month. - funny. It seems to just keep coming. Bright side is that it has this wonderful tendency to keep me continually coming back to Him for strength and affirmation as I walk.
Exhausted. I’m so in need of Him.
The word ‘desperate’ comes to mind. - it’s such a good place to be.
“… The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, And shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice.”
Jeremiah 31:3-4
“..therefore…with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”
“….again I shall build you, and you shall be rebuilt”
“And you shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice”
My heart melts at these words. Can anyone possibly know how truly my Jesus has brought to pass the words in my life over the last year? How He’s drawn me and how He has and still is …rebuilding. It’s been such a process of undoing and tearing down to make room for the new. For Him.
I find myself moved to tears easier these days. Feeling more deeply. …there’s more to me than I knew - and that’s a weird feeling.
Question. Why is it - that we know Him. We trust Him. His love has never failed us … and yet so much of the time, His light shed abroad in our lives is such a fearful thing? Why are we so afraid to let go of that which holds us down - and step into the light? -the light holds fullness of joy. -the light is LIFE unencumbered.
It rained today. A huge storm, actually. With purple streaks of lightening and the kind of thunder that makes your heart leap out of your chest….sudden and deafening. - storms always make me just … stop and feel it…take it alllll in. Raindrops on the roof. The smell of it … how is it that rain smells so refreshing? The mist that finds you when the wind picks up. And the colors ….ever noticed how ever color takes on this incredibly deep version of itself? - today I dismissed myself from a rather chaotic dinner - and sat out on the porch and just let Him minister rest to my weariness through that storm. We didn’t speak, Him I. We just sat there and took each other in. ..it was beautiful.
Who IS He anyway? - I can’t stop wondering at the thought of Him. I love Him.
Thursday, 01 May 2008
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Currently Reading
The Shack
By William P. Young
see relatedSo....updating is good....
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I’ve decided that even though xanga is a bit - “uncool” - I’m sticking with it … for sentimental reasons …xanga and I have been through so much together - I know that sounds weird. But really…going back and reading over each post - I usually only posted when something interesting was going on in my life - and to see the seasons and stages go by - honestly…it’s really something.
God is evident. I can’t believe how much His love absolutely consumes me…He just. Doesn’t. Stop. Praise Him.
Andrew’s home (thank heaven! =) . And it’s been so good - quite emotional at times (lol…but then, as a Scott - everything’s emotional and intense, right? :p) …but so good. Both of us have been amazed at how God has just centered Himself in our midst - guiding through each step…teaching all the while - it’s been really crazy how God has stretched me - demanding realness and truth. It’s so good. Truth is good, you guys!! =) I love it’s presence in my life. - Anyway, we’re settling into a somewhat normal dating routine - it’s been such fun. I’ve enjoyed it so much because we have such a great group of counselors surrounding us on all sides - and we’re both learning SO MUCH!! …man I feel like God just keeps turning my life upside down in a gazillion different ways - and I LOVE IT!! =) …sorry - I’m a bit of a sap as far as my amazing God goes these days ….bear with me ;) ANYWAY… I’m learning to just ask God for His will “today” and not beyond - hard at first …but safety now, I feel.
**Random fact. We’re still horrid about taking pictures, BLAST IT!!**
We’ve a highlight over the past several weeks - our little Amandita met her bio brother, Jude Jackson - he was adopted by a big, wonderful family who thinks he’s pretty much the most amazing kid ever - I’d have to agree ….what a sweetheart. - it was such a blessing to be able to witness that reunion AND to meet the Jackson family - hoping to perhaps call them “neighbors“…and thinking it quite wonderful for our little ones to have so many fun new friends!! ;) -
Man….it’s so beautiful - so full circle for Amanda and Jude to reunite - such a typical God thing, you know? - Just like the Author of beauty to take such an intricate interest in the lives of two children and their families - and to orchestrate such incredible stories - I’m a bit blown away by that… a friend of mine once said that she invisions God sitting at this huge wooden table with a quill pen - taking pleasure in writing out the story of each of His creation's life ....I so totally see that - I see His pleasure everywhere. Praise Him.
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In other news…our little Matt has started on the baseball team!!!
~just arriving at the ball park~
~Matt with his newofund buddy - they had fun trading off hats ;) ~
- it’s the cuuuutest thing - all these little special-needs kids in their uniforms. Only a few of which can even walk - all out on the field thinking they’re pretty tough stuff ;) Matty thought he was in HEAVEN - even had his own little cheerleading squad! -
…please - someone tell me how we ended up with the most perfect kids on the face of the planet!! - seriously, dude…makes me a bit nervous about having any of my own … no way mine would live up to these angels! ;) …either that or it makes me totally thrilled about having my own …? - still haven’t decided yet :p.
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A mission trip to Guaty at the end of June is in process - going to be SO AMAZING!!! … some pretty darned incredible people are going to be coming and I’m totally thrilled about it. Any chance to get to Guatemala is more than fine by me! -
Over the past several weeks I’ve had some lovely, lovely visitors =) First Maria blessed all of her east Tx friends by make a long since-overdue visit - and I got her for 2 days (perfection!). We get together and laugh the ENTIRE time - so wonderful. Rach also came down - thank HEAVEN!! …it’s been TWO YEARS, people!!! - far, far too long for two best friends to be apart, if you ask me.
Thank you, dearests for coming - I LOVED having you here. Hoping for some time again during winter break - maybe?? =) =) - Question ..why is it that all my girlfriends that I adore are so far away??? - sheesh!! - ah well - makes time together that much more special, I guess =)
OK...enough already - I've talked long enough. Love you each of you!!!!
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
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Currently Listening
Dare to Dream
By Billy Gilman
see relatedhow can anyone not like Country/Western music?
Thursday, 21 February 2008
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Currently Listening
All of the Above
By Hillsong United
see relatedjust another day...
I just finished a conversation with my mom - we went over the events of the day...different highlights - things of interest - talked about different kiddos ... Anna going through violin with flying colors; Alli having the personality of a 12 yr old - and the body of a 12 mth old, lol; Sam and his artwork; Lizzie and her need for initiative...and how to inspire her towards it...just the usual mom stuff ;) ... then somehow the conversation took a different path - and we started off on things in life that we cling to with passion...and later on down the road look back - and realize that those things weren't of the slightest importance. She looked at me at one point and said, "if I knew then - what I know about life now...there would have been so much that I would have simply let go - knowing that in the scope of life - they just weren't important" - it got me thinking ... there are definitely things in my life that I cling to...seeing as vital - things I simply will not live without - things that I refuse to compromise. What things in my life - will I look back on in ten-twenty years and wish to heaven that I'd let go? What part of my life is absolutely God in me? and what part is my flesh? what is self-imposed? and what are the things that He's imparted into my life that are to me kept and carried with me? What is important? and what is not? - such a balance ... this walk with Him - because on one hand it's so easy to yoke ourselves with ideas and beliefs that seem to walk hand in hand with Christianity...and yet so much of the time we end up choked and sidetracked from truly experiencing his heart fresh and new - for ourselves everyday. ...we're to take up His cross daily and follow Him ... so what is His cross? and what are the things that we call His cross? ...so crazy to think of the many, many ways we must complicate things in the midst of trying to figure them out. - anyway ... a good reminder to never stop. never be satisfied in one place for too long. always dig. always be looking to Him for more...because there always is more - because He's endless.
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So my good friend Matt Cramer put together this great video - and he did SUCH a good job of it, I simply had to post it (has nothing whatSOEVER to do with the fact that it's about a certain Andrew Tyler, I swear! ). It's great ...just a day in the life of my wonderful missionary boyfriend in Liberia.
....enjoy
Sunday, 27 January 2008
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Today I choose You
Today I choose...
I've focused a lot on those three words lately - today I choose...joy. today I choose...hope. today I choose...life. today I choose....love. today I choose....faith. today I choose... obedience. today I choose...forgiveness. today I choose...repentance. today I choose...strength
today I choose. ...so much of this life God leaves up to us. He lays out the groundwork and shows us His desire for us ...but at the end of the day I believe he allows us to choose what to do with what he's shown/given. Over the past several months, each day has presented a choice to me. - I didn't realize until recently that THAT was what was going down - i didn't realize that it wasn't God giving me a good day ... or bad day..or whatever (although I know He does ...) - it was about how I was choosing to go about walking in what He'd given. - I've been presented with a lot of choices lately, you guys - and I'm finding such strength in the hard things ...in climbing out of and on top of myself...looking to God - and saying...ok Lord - this is how I'm feeling....and this is what I choose - I've chosen faith a lot....joy also - joy brings strength like you can't believe. - Hope is something else.... but in all of this - i've discovered power. God has given me the power to be an overcomer of my flesh and in my life .... in tiny everyday things ...and in huge life changing things - He has given power....He enables me to choose - and follow up on those choices. - And through all of this....I'm discovering womanhood- humbly, gently.....discovering womanhood - it's such a vast place. It holds much responsibility that I wasn't ready for...even 8 months ago - but in his perfect timing ..he's grabbed my by the hand, "Look, daughter - there's this whole new world that you haven't seen yet ...and along with this whole new world - a whole new side of ME. Welcome to womanhood - welcome to what I created you to be" - I've clung to the safety of childhood for so long ...the innocence....the obliviousness ....the blind faith - and now ...now it's time to step away and into the "my own" that God has laid out before me. The cool part...is that in all my womanhood - I still get to be the child.
....it is the coolest feeling to be empowered - to embrace His strength and make it my own...yet at the same time - completely fall back on him every moment of everyday. - I understand Him more. I know Him in greater depth. And I love Him like I never have before. and its gorgeous here.
We here at home had the absolute JOY of getting my Mel home for a little over a week. - it was a perfect time of togetherness. She has the ability of making anything and everything an absolute blast ... and she's great because basically anything that comes out of my mouth, she finds hysterical (bout time SOMEONE recognized my sense of humor!) -....and yes it totally goes to my head;) ..but all teasing aside - I love her. I'm endlessly blessed and inspired by her....and lately - very happy for her ....;) - can't wait for her to come home! - gosh...what IS it with me and the people I love being a gazillion miles away?!?!
- For those of you who've been asking =) Andrew is still in Liberia ...not due home until April. =( been missing my guy a lot lately. I've been working on coming up with all the good things that have come of this time apart to make the missing a bit easier to bear - honestly? ...it doesn't help the missing him a whole lot - but it does put things into perceptive, which has been really good. We've felt so blessed to have email and phone...I don't think we could have survived this otherwise. ::~:: he's such an amazing man. - you know...in my off moments ...when I have nothing on earth better to do...;) - I kind of adore him slightly and totally...
. Seriously...it's incredible to me how God can put two people together so perfectly. And how much better He knows us that we know ourselves - I'm wowed by that on a daily basis...
Well ... It's lights out for me - 1:29am. It's been lovely chatting and catching up =) Love to all of you. More coming when I can find the time!!
fullnessofjoy
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- Name: Mary Margaret
- Member Since: 9/22/2005
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About Me
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This is what I love :::: Jesus - my all and my own ~ worshipping ~ people...and learning to see them through His eyes instead of my own ~ I LOVE music - anything I can get my hands on =) ~Different and new cultures ~Africa - is my heart's cry. "I will not forget!!" I miss Liberia - I'm praying that He'll send me to Kenya, Uganda, Ghana, Sudan, and Ethiopia - soon:~) ~ I love Guatemala (Hermano Pedro, more specifically)~ I want to go to India someday to serve ~ Above every desire, though - I simply want to be used by Him no matter where that ends up leading me. ~ adoption ~ My family/dearest friends ... Mel (best friend/sister), Andrew, Peter, Daniel, Caleb ~ my babies...all 12 of them!! My parents adopted 4 from Vietnam and 8 from Guatemala ~ they are such amazing, brilliant, and beautiful children who have brought so much joy and transformation to our family ~ I love anything written by Jane Austen~ late-night walks ~ beautiful things ~ rain ~ girlfriends=) ~ LIFE!! ~
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Glad you wanted to be friends!! It'll be nice to get to know you! :) Have a blessed evening!
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Hello to the sweet m&m! I'm doing superb? I could tell you so much of God's amazing work in my life! He truly has been directing my every step even in the midst of some storms! :) So, how are you doing? I know, I miss knowing you were always down the road, even though we never saw each other, exc
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Sure thing. :-) BTW, just in case you didn't have this figured out, this is the same person over at HeritageStitchery...Joyful_Big_Sis is for pics. and the like. Hope you have a grand day with your munchkins!
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